tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post8901016752477153100..comments2023-06-10T03:57:21.595-07:00Comments on Being In Therapy: No, it isn't.The Insighterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04848832099891410271noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-14827074184447324522020-12-08T04:10:41.202-08:002020-12-08T04:10:41.202-08:00And what are you talking about? A day at work? Wha...And what are you talking about? A day at work? What does that have do with "its good to be defensive" lol yes when your fighting or driving....Not trying to fix the noggin. Idk what article you read but the point flew, like into space. Maybe now 5 years later you've grown to were the point went and understand context.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04618821741458708476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-10296703369358989042020-12-08T04:07:15.340-08:002020-12-08T04:07:15.340-08:00He means saying it in a pyschitrists office...not ...He means saying it in a pyschitrists office...not your house. So how are you going to go to bed? And if your satisfied with life, why would you even be in the office? Please review what you're saying so your don't look like a complete moron next time. ThanksAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04618821741458708476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-89803275356607474892020-12-08T04:04:41.616-08:002020-12-08T04:04:41.616-08:00Right? Lol they still do! And I'm posting this...Right? Lol they still do! And I'm posting this in 2020Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04618821741458708476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-88468760046205042452020-03-17T05:58:30.480-07:002020-03-17T05:58:30.480-07:00I disagree, "iiiwii" has only two dynami...I disagree, "iiiwii" has only two dynamics. The first is acceptance of what has passed and is not *in* the past. We cannot change the score of a game, or an accident where someone dies. The second is the phrase is a call to action. Learn from the mistakes of the game, maybe change the traffic patterns to prevent a car accidents.<br /><br />In IT, it's only the former. Somewhere something is wrong and engineers like myself MUST fix it. That's normal business.<br /><br />You're probably dead by now so this is also probably a moot point in 2020.ScottJohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15516276725870972349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-136418196032243202018-10-20T06:23:41.614-07:002018-10-20T06:23:41.614-07:00Wow ... I had not really thought of this in this c...Wow ... I had not really thought of this in this context. I never really said iiwii in the past but I realized I have been using it a lot in the last few years. Now I have to try an not use it and when I go to use it think about why I want to say it. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18261430675160635297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-72222956871778850562018-02-24T12:44:27.019-08:002018-02-24T12:44:27.019-08:00It is what it is, sure thing man. It's all bad...It is what it is, sure thing man. It's all bad, I think.<br />It is... sounds a peal of something more deep than mere apathy - it is apathy and abject resignation in the face of something clearly negative, undesirable, disturbing and persisting in one's life.<br />Yet, it is the opposite reaction to the "I'm mad as Hell, and I can't take it anymore" phase within the classic and disturbingly prescient "Network." It is an admission of not just utter ennui, angst, and eboulia, but an adamant position rejecting any power to impose a change in the situation.<br />"Like, we all see the situation, for sure, but I'm just too uninterested and disengaged with any action involving a tiny bit of commitment, don't want to ruffle my peacocking feathers by risking real effort or taking a stance on something. This barista sucks - the foams too flat, what is this image supposed to be, I don't believe this shop really is committed to righteous bean picking accords."Die Fledermaushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00896421584733654889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-24268629355782178032017-02-08T21:36:58.012-08:002017-02-08T21:36:58.012-08:00For Aegean BM:
I did start with "I do Apologi...For Aegean BM:<br />I did start with "I do Apologize ahead for my forward comings."<br />Which proper grammar would have it state, "I do Apologize ahead for my forth coming."<br /><br />I do apologize if you perceived me as being a dick, that was not my intentions. Although, you make reference to 'expressed emotion' as if everyone knows how to properly express emotion. This is a perfect example of how a persons presumptions may lead them to believe or assume something that may not true.<br /><br />This is not intended as an attack, as it is just a reference to a concept the perception can always be flawed...<br /><br />I cannot say that I am any good at expressing emotion myself, therefore lack when it comes to 'Being Sensitive'.<br /><br />My last statements semantics were misunderstood... It was not intended to declare a PhD, as I only study Psychology and Human Behavior. The term 'Psychologist' by definition does not indicate that the person in question must have, has, or will have a PhD in psychology, it simply means:<br /><br />Persuant of Google Definitions<br />psy·chol·o·gist<br />sīˈkäləjəst/<br />noun<br />an expert or specialist in psychology.<br /><br />Persuant of Mariam-Webster Dictionary<br />psy·chol·o·gy<br />1 : the science of mind and behavior<br />2 a : the mental or behavioral characteristics of an individual or group<br /> b : the study of mind and behavior in relation to a particular field of knowledge or activity<br /><br />i.e. therefore simply indicating that the person in question currently studies, has studied, or is well educated/knowledgeable in the field of psychology...<br /><br />Also to answer your question:<br />"If you're so smart, why did you capitalize Psychologist?"<br /><br />Nothing is done without a purpose, the question is what is the underlying purpose...<br /><br />The term Psychologist is a title, (from English class) any term that is used as a title, is supposed to have a capitalized first letter. Although this is of English standard, it is Not commonly practiced.<br /><br />I personally have a tendency to also utilize non-aggressive or passive emphasis. This emphasis, isn't intended as actual emphasis. I tend to capitalize the first letter on certain words that are commonly missed by readers (e.g. the word 'Not' is the most common). The intent is to draw the readers eye to the negative conversion, although Not required, in many cases it helps readers keep the literature in context.<br /><br />In some cases I've used capitalization of subject and key word to assist with 'Selective Reading', better known as 'Skim Reading'. When skim reading, most people browse though the literature and tend to miss a lot of the critical info. Subject & Key Word Selective Capitalization can help key info catch the eye of the skim reader.Guardian of Purityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16875963635815778538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-11252669718219451492016-04-19T18:53:43.755-07:002016-04-19T18:53:43.755-07:00@Guardian of Purity, you might be right about the ...@Guardian of Purity, you might be right about the EXACT vocabulary, but why be a dick about it? <br /><br />No, that is not an example of <i>ad hominem</i> fallacy. I'm not saying your argument is wrong. I'm saying how you expressed it was emotionally wrong. The nail in the coffin was the appeal to authority when you announced you're a Psychologist. No one gives a damn about your credentials. I could be a high school drop out. Express yourself well, and you need not seal it with your authority. (If you're so smart, why did you capitalize Psychologist? If for emphasis, you could have all-capped it, or italized it, or bolded it--and no, I don't know <i>bold</i> is an adjective and shouldn't be used as a verb, because I'm a high school drop out, not a PhD.)<br /><br />At the end of the day, you just didn't understand the audience. This blog is meant to be an opinion written to laymen, and not a peer reviewed paper in a psychology journal. <br /><br />You and I might very well have written overlapping themes, but you went over my head, and I just didn't give a damn to explore it further. I totally respect the author even though I didn't exactly agree with the conclusion, but I loved reading and thinking about it. I got no respect for you, because as I said, you were a dick.<br /><br />If I weren't so cranky at the moment, I could have succinctly said @Guardian of Purity, <b>lighten up</b>.Aegean BMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04697796901111977165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-19423698518613795812016-04-19T12:56:08.048-07:002016-04-19T12:56:08.048-07:00Depending on the context, iiwii can be good or bad...Depending on the context, iiwii can be good or bad. It means "I accept (or need to accept) the situation and start to move on. <br /><br />If one is upset about the past, iiwii can be good because you can't change the past. I've experienced the benefits of it many times in work projects as described by @LoLStreetWiz above. Very helpful for stopping the blame game and moving on to constructive actions. iiwii replaced <i>What's done is done; what do we do now?</i><br /><br />iiwii is often used as a counter to political correctness and beating around the bush.<br /><b>client</b>: So you delivered the solution, and now you go home. What happens when something goes wrong in the middle of the night?<br /><b>consultant</b>: You'll call me to fix it.<br /><b>client</b>: And you'll charge me your usual criminal rate to fix a problem you left in the system, and I'll be forced to pay it each time because the business depends on it. You're like a blackmailer, or a drug dealer to an addict. I'm forced to pay you.<br /><br />[consultant can either try to sooth the client's emotions, offer a discount, discuss alternatives, remind the client of the costs for the consultant, talk about how unlikely the night scenario would be, talk about the quality of the work, the complexity of the problem ... or ask the client to push the emotions aside and accept the reality.]<br /><br /><b>consultant</b>: Call it what you want; it is what it is.<br /><br />In the context you described, iiwii is bad because either<br />A. they say they accept the situation when they haven't (denial of feelings)<br />or<br />B. they do accept the situation, but don't believe they have an option to move on (denial of control)<br />In either case, they come to you to change, but make your job difficult by using the language of acceptance. Sure, I can see why you might be irked.<br /><br />My question back to you is whether <br />1. the phrase is a symptom, i.e. don't kill the messenger, i.e. the dead canary in the mineshaft didn't cause the methane leak, i.e. the same clients would be no different without iiwii: their denial is the same but with different vocabulary.<br />or<br />2. the phrase causes or exacerbates the recovery work.<br />You claim #2. Is it possible that it's #1? You could be sick of that phrase because when you hear it, you instantly think, "Shit, that's obviously a lie. He's not going to improve until he recognizes the truth. I've got my work cut out for me." I think that's more likely the truth. The man in your example could have easily said "I'm OK" or "I accept my life" or any of a hundred similar phrases. But he didn't. I think the repetition of the phrase gave you a mental allergy. Like I said, I could be wrong. iiwii might be causing harm in some situations.Aegean BMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04697796901111977165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-91163880745739528702015-10-10T18:01:11.237-07:002015-10-10T18:01:11.237-07:00talk about over analyzing. when I say it I'm m...talk about over analyzing. when I say it I'm meaning be at peace with it if you want something better you have to change it, because now I've worked hard, it's pleasing to me and I want to go to bed. what's wrong with being defensive? <br /> gm*https://www.blogger.com/profile/13582485679333457647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-35693714178831050962015-06-09T08:09:13.721-07:002015-06-09T08:09:13.721-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Guardian of Purityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16875963635815778538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-544386927976603232015-01-17T22:01:42.878-08:002015-01-17T22:01:42.878-08:00I think Agree to Disagree is a little different. I...I think Agree to Disagree is a little different. It can be perfectly appropriate if 2 people have thoroughly and constructively discussed a difference of opinion until it becomes apparent that neither will change the other's mind, and so there is no point in extending the debate.Rickmilwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05300472794808625887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-87924920032095779682014-11-27T13:31:02.015-08:002014-11-27T13:31:02.015-08:00I also got linked to here by your "definition...I also got linked to here by your "definition of insanity" post. I also feel the same way about the phrase, "Agree to disagree"<br />Great blog, btw.Ianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10445698488864675984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-28740963642416945362014-06-22T07:55:41.249-07:002014-06-22T07:55:41.249-07:00I got linked to here by your "definition of i...I got linked to here by your "definition of insanity" post - glad I've discovered your blog - very interesting!<br /><br />With respect to i.i.w.i.i., I find your insights very, well, insightful.<br /><br />In my world - project management, project delivery, call it what you will - i.i.w.i. is a way to end pointless how-did-we-get-here arguments and pity parties, and move on to solutioning (sorry for the jargon, but I think it's the right world).<br /><br />I.e., I think the sunny flipside of i.i.w.i.i. is not begrudging acceptance of something we don't want to change, but rather the acceptance of our start conditions: "Yes, the [bridge] pier is buckling, which means we can't lay the deck on it, and we're going to miss your milestones - BUT WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"<br /><br />I hope I make sense!<br /><br />Again, great blog.LotStreetWizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17893780769277090909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-66410526895896178542014-04-03T05:31:08.608-07:002014-04-03T05:31:08.608-07:00This post is what it is. There's nothing I can...This post is what it is. There's nothing I can do to change it. I have to just begrudgingly accept it.<br /><br />LOL -- Nice job. I love debunking popular statements, like this and "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result". That's the definition of futility, not insanity.<br /><br />And poor Einstein. Every hare-brained saying is frequently attributed to him!steven edward streighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05401227642461826748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-77786389915228206252007-11-02T11:33:00.000-07:002007-11-02T11:33:00.000-07:00Interesting question, cacophony. I believe the "ii...Interesting question, cacophony. I believe the "iiwii" attitude is adopted after failed attempts to resolve prior issues. The underlying sentiment might be: "venting my anger didn't change the outcome before, so why feel the anger now?" What I'm saying is - venting the anger is important for your health, regardless of the outcome. Thanks for asking.The Insighterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04848832099891410271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-838627847347189680.post-78515693080501711522007-11-01T19:07:00.000-07:002007-11-01T19:07:00.000-07:00Well said. In your experience, have people who ten...Well said. In your experience, have people who tend to use this phrase made any effort to explore or change things and failed? Or is this a lack of insight that capitalizes on fear and denial? Both?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com